Loki: Agent of Asgard #8 cover inks by Lee Garbett
remember that text post saying we couldn’t handle chris evans as a hot teacher and we’re grateful he’s a celebrity
this is why
God damn it Misha
I want to believe it’s all the same guy
Watch the video first. It’s worth pausing your music or finding your headphones for. Trust me.
Prompted by (x)
It is not Bucky’s first mission with the Avengers, but it is his first with just some of them. Thor is dealing with some kind of bildschnipe invasion in Asgard, Natasha is off guarding someone important, and Sam is at a family reunion. Which leaves Bucky with Clint, Tony, and Steve for their operation in the office building that they are pretty sure is a front for a remaining branch of Hydra. What Clint and Tony don’t know, but Bucky is all too aware of, is that Steve should never, ever be trusted with undercover work.
There is a safe that supposedly contains a flash drive with a list of all remaining Hydra facilities, and this is their target. Bucky is stationed in the building across the street, providing sniper cover of the room that houses the safe. Tony is in charge of getting to the security office and making sure that they don’t set off any alarms. Clint is tasked with exploring the building via the air ducts to see if there is any other valuable information to be found there.
Steve goes in dressed like a lazy office worker, and does his best to sneak into the building and up to the room without detection. Since Steve is about as good an actor as Arnold Schwarzenegger and twice as recognizable, this plan goes south fairly quickly. Steve makes it into the room fine, but before he even has a chance to open the safe, three armed Hydra agents storm into the room. Steve whirls around to face them while Bucky tenses, finger on the trigger of his sniper rifle.
Bucky mutters a curse. He could take one or two of the agents down, but he doesn’t have a clear shot of the middle one, and there’s no way he can get all of them before they get Steve.
“Wow, this got serious,” Steve remarks, hands in the air. He turns back to look through the window, and Bucky can see the calculating and mischievous look in his eye. Bucky learned to fear that look a long time ago.
Steve completely ignores Bucky’s warning, and turns back to the Hydra agents. He shrugs his shoulders a little bit, getting into character.
“Steve, you promised me last time that you wouldn’t do it again. Don’t do it, Steve.”
Steve raises his arms, and his hands are shaped into finger guns.
“I’m warning you,” he says, his voice coming out deeper than usual.
“I am a lethal killing machine,” Steve plows on. “It was a secret government experiment. They did weird stuff to me. Spooky stuff…anal stuff.”
Clint comes to a dead stop in the middle of his air duct.
“What the fuck is he doing?”
“Something amazing,” says Tony, who is watching the live security camera feed of the scene. “Something truly, truly amazing.”
“He’s doing something idiotic,” Bucky snaps. “Now shut up so I can focus.”
“Turned me into a dangerous telekinetic,” Steve continues. There is a clink of metal as Bucky does a facepalm. “As the ancient Tibetan philosophy states: don’t start none, won’t be none.”
“Who is he and what has he done with Steve Rogers?” Clint demands in a whisper.
“Barton, this is the Steve Rogers that I had to look after during the war,” Bucky hisses back. “It’s a miracle I never got an ulcer.”
“I think the Captain America chapter of my history book was missing a few pages,” drawls one of the Hydra agents.
“I can’t believe we were missing out on this for three years,” Tony says, watching gleefully as Steve just smirks at the agent, his finger-guns still locked and loaded. “JARVIS, I believe you know what to do.”
“Sir, are you sure that’s appropriate?”
“Oh yeah. Set it up.”
“Telekinetic your way out of this,” the Hydra agent says, stepping forward with a pair of the heavy-duty cuffs that they designed for Steve but tested on the Winter Soldier.
The sight of them makes Steve’s eyes go hard, but his grin stays firmly in place. He pulls his finger-trigger with a ‘PEW!’ noise that most people don’t make after they’ve graduated from the fifth grade, and the agent goes down in a spray of crimson as Bucky makes a perfect shot. The speaker system starts blaring Don’t Stop Believing, and a second agent goes down with a pop from Steve’s imaginary gun and a bullet from Bucky’s real one.
The third agent is still standing, looking equal parts incredulous and terrified. Steve turns both finger guns on him, and the agent just shakes his head, holding up his very real gun in surrender.
“Face down,” Steve orders in what he probably thinks is an intimidating voice. “Or I’ll make your heart stop beating with my mind.”
The guy hits the deck, and Tony loses it, doubling over and laughing so hard that he has to open the faceplate of his suit to get enough air.
“If I don’t get a video of this, Stark, I will unscrew every single bolt on all of your robots,” Clint warns.
“Please,” Tony scoffs. “What do you think everyone is getting for Christmas?”
“If you two don’t stop encouraging him, I will shoot you both,” Bucky growls.
“The music is a nice touch,” Clint adds, ignoring Bucky.
Steve turns to the window and gives Bucky a shit-eating grin and a thumbs-up. Bucky gives him a metal one-fingered salute.
Charging the cat
The eyes are green. It’s charged. Please unplug your cat.
Omg today when I woke up I was so confused that I couldn’t remember my first language and I panicked and literally screamed ‘But I dont even know how to speak french’ in english.
I am oddly glad that this can happen.
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS
DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????
I’m fucking dying
I believe you searched the wrong thing,
Oh wait, never mind…
here you go guys, i found the lyrics and their meaning which makes it like 20x better. It literally means what he says it does.Ahsante sana [ Thank you very much ] Squash banana Wewe nugu [ You're a baboon ] Mimi hapana [ And I'm not ]